Everybody Needs a Break Sometimes
Inspired by this photograph
He burns with thought,
a venerable stone building
frames him.
He’s paid to play pretend
but the cigarette butts & unkempt street
are real now.
His fight scene
had gone wrong.
He was to dodge the left hook, sweep the leg.
But the enemy didn’t jump the sweep,
& down he went.
Face met flowery tea cup,
cutting a thick, deep gash,
a spray of blood.
His enemy knew what should have happened.
But he did it,
he made leg crash into leg.
The closed eyes, broken face
won’t leave him.
"Jackie, you’re on."
The Book of the Hacker (Desire)
Live as if you were digital.
Inspired by The Book of the Dead Man by Marvin Bell
1. About the Hacker and Desire
The hacker does not know where he finds himself.
On one of his morning exploits, he sees writing in a foreign tongue that
reminds him of Russian, but sharper.
The hacker finds himself in The Ukraine, he stares blankly at his green on
black terminal; his window into that much larger than him.
The hacker stands in a river of information.
He finds an open webcam and sees a newborn baby, eyes twinkling in the light of the LCD.
The hacker now sits at the top of a financial empire in the heart of Wall Street.
Now the hacker reads an email about a graphic car crash, picture included.
He is briefly in the memory banks of the people he intrudes on.
The hacker wonders how long he will remember his acquaintances.
An annoying accident finds the hacker at his own server.
2. More About the Hacker and Desire
The hacker has no family, he doesn't need one.
He abuses the follies of man and machine.
The hacker is excited over the idea that his curiosity may be boundless.
He dons a hat of healthy grey.
For the hacker, a simple command can ripple out into the physical world.
To the hacker, the internet is a sticky copper spiderweb.
To the hacker, data is the oil, the blood, the gold.
To the hacker, the transistor is the basic unit of life.
The hacker yearns for dense cityscapes and lively coffee shops.
The hacker thinks of the shoulders he stands on: Alan Turing, Dennis Ritchie, Ada Lovelace, GeoHot, Solo, C0mrade, TeaMp0isoN and wants others on his.
The hacker is proud of his shrouded work.
The hacker has seen technologies come and go just as he has seen people, policies, regimes and parties come and go.
Chinese Fall
Inspired by Tomas Tranströmer
The rose with a single thorn,
intentionally untrimmed,
bites the victim.
Their wince is candy.
Shining Chinese gorge, between
Wu Shan and Ba Dong.
In the distance,
a roiling thunderstorm
narrows its eyes.
Organ, with endlessly complex pipes,
smooth ivory keys.
Hides itself from the listener,
shows only false, hollow exterior.
Blares loud, cacophonous Messiaen chords.
Burs in my brother's shoes,
hours of incessant itching
will show him.
How dare he
take my Pokemon cards.
This Poem Is Not About Cara
The whore cries,
“I'm your little bitch”
in that whiny, grating,
“I'm about to fake
an orgasm” squeal I've
heard a hundred times
before, but never from
this side of the
bedroom door.
Fuck...
Fucking Fucking Fuckity Fuck!
Blinded by tears and screaming
along at 60 miles an hour,
I'm going home to my bed.
For a month, the world had ended.
It felt like my pores
oozed black slime.
I finally let myself go out
to a bar, and mope at
anyone that would listen.
“Hey buddy, that sucks.
Let me buy you a beer.”
We talk about our ex girlfriends
and he knows the feeling all too well.
The night goes on, and
I've made a friend.
"Friday I'm in Love"
is that song from high school
I never want to hear again and
Anastasia is the girl who gave it to me.
Her parents fled cold, careless
Putin when she was 8.
Our love came quickly.
At the choir camp bonfire
we whispered our first
sweet “I love you”s under
the burning harvest moon.
Six months later, after we broke up
and got back together
she said, “We have fun, right?”
to cut the long silence of
our downtown stroll.
“No.” I thought,
“I think we do” I said.
One year later, as we sobbed
knowing it was over,
light rain fell from the
coolly blackened sky,
washing away our love.
I drove her home.
One weekend on a choir trip,
I met Cara.
Our love came quicker.
The night we met was spent
learning about each other under
the pin pricks of light in the
chillingly clear mountain night sky.
We ritualized Fridays,
giving them entirely to one another,
our weekly spikes of love.
Six months later, I found
Cara in the corner of my
little blue bedroom,
rocking back and forth,
trying desperately to rid her mind
of depression and anxiety.
I frowned and held her.
One year later, late at night
Cara and I wandered down to a dock.
We talked about beauty and
how far we'd come.
As rain began to fall,
we ripped each other's clothes off.
Mother
Inspired by "Mother" by Paula Meehan
mother florist
maternal mother
you raised me right
you let me go
mother nuturer
bearer of my blankie “May”
kitty cat caretaker
threadmatrix seamstress
mother sharer
of book and bowl
teaching me to learn
pouring morning cereal
mother home and cradle
your two eyes beaming
light and whimsy
when you made me
mother you made family
you and your lion companion
you and your dens
you and your meditation
mother your textiles
your candles your rugs
your grouting your paint scraping
your tomatoes your lettuce
mother raising a house of plants
you grow from soil
through tireless care
and much love
mother your gardens
your greens your veggies
with your thistles
mother cat I'm you're kitten
mother naturalist
home maker
traveler and tranquil
in the summer sun
mother you call
I hear your venom
and your disapproval
and I scream
The Most Feelings I've Ever Felt Walking to my 8 AM Poetry Class with Jordan Smith on a Wednesday Morning
Moonlit morning walk into class
Groggy students drift to 8 Ams
Venerable oak, rustling overhead
Just then
An acorn falls
Strikes me square on the head
Fucking squirrels
Moxie
2025-08-28
Two Toned Teacher
From flea bath wails
To careful wall bumps
He made it
Long tail for tugging
Soft body for plastic bag rides
Perfect pillow, napping to his purrs
Stairway thunder for evening attic time
The smell of stress oozing after a trip to the garage
Memories of Hazel rearing sister brother Daisy
Never stretching a claw to play
Always in his hidey holes
His patience in scooped up loving arms
knowing it will end soon
Now once and for all
Rest in peace, Moxie
Beauty
2025-08-15
Beauty
A blade wielded well before
Its quickness is known
church parking lot hot box
2025-04-20
Four hundred and twenty reasons to forget
Decayed Jesus, 6th risen, flag wrapped, boots black, white, and red
Two hellos remind my eyes they still work
And Now
They won’t send me anywhere, demands DEI hire
I’m a citizen, you know, white
for now,
alternate facts smack of faggot rising
Mars killed logos
Of course he’s alive
Box a’int hot
Art and Chet
2023-08-21
"How are they alive???" Squacks the squan
Art and Chet just keep on blastin'
Red town blue state
2023-08-21
How are you?
I am good.
Tonight's a big night for Trump!
Hugs and kisses,
Love,
Grandma
!(My Preferred Pronouns)
2023-08-17
Fuck men
The being of pure squats slivered out she her tongue to slash Miles Jules and Claire
This he him is the he they for me she's so hot
That Time I Was Smarter Than My Coworker
2023-08-17
She was definitely black and definitely at least twice or maybe thrice my age
We were packing boxes at Zingermann's mail order warehouse
Her much more deftly than I
I was a floater, helping what stations needed help
"That Bill Gates is a good man, faithful to his wife"
"Oh I don't like him because of like Netscape, he really hurt computing"
And his wife divorced him over his relationship with known pedophile and human trafficker Jeffrey Epstein
But thanks for supporting the military industrial complex so we'll.
Notably, written April 20th 2023
Sprinting Towards Death Is Not A Metaphor
2023-08-15
To professional my sister
Is children flowing down plastic slides
Round Mary goes, Chester falls
David find purchase in the fence
Finally, escape
From this 120 foot tall tower
I take a drag
Taking a drag as I slide down the merry go round of life
120 feet in the air is high enough for my sister most days, but she, like cats, birds, and Killians, like to be tall
Rico goes sprinting towards certain death
Sure hope someone watered those squash
A country that's divided
2023-08-12
I just learned a dirty word
You wanna hear it?
Immigrants
Jews
Capital
Apologize the filth
Now for some more dirty words
Fagari
Puta madres
Spatizva
Xie xie
Finally, some clean words
Communism
Secession
I ring this death bell
2023-08-08
I ring this death bell
For I have nothing left to do
Kelly nelled nellilily to the store
She met Maya
Maya met Maeve
Maeva met her match in a freestyle bingo tournament
We Don't Do Punishment
2023-07-30
Anymore
We’re gentle parents
Gentle adults
Soft, gentle, silky, chiffon children
Toddling through life
25 minutes on 5 off
4 times
Then 15!
Writes a research paper in a night
Fat fucking blunts
Survive blue hour twilight nights
Working so hard according to the guy they fired
Oh and my boss who isn’t my boss he’d really rather I stopped calling him my boss-man
But her punishment isn’t the same
It’s special!
It’s kind, gentle, never raises its voice, never turns to rage, and most of all
Definitely
Never
Hit
Me
Darvo sends his regards, regard
This One Weird Trick Will Get You A Job Making $175,000 A Year
2023-07-30
You know that thing you don’t wanna do?
Well, first off, bad news.
But do you want the good news first?
Great.
Please come on down to door number 3 and we’ll see what you’ve got!
Iiiiiittttt’ssssss
$8000 a check
After tax
A house
<not that>
Aaaannnnndddddd most importantly we have here hidden in this little compartment
*audience gasp*
Ohhhhhhh I’m so sorry but the bad news has to come first, what can I say, 🎵showww-bizzz🎵
Okay so it’s really easy alright so first
Be born
Euuuhhhhh Cheeeecccckkkkkkk number ooonnnneeeeeeeee!!!!
Second, you know that thing you don’t wanna do?
Me either, let’s get drunk
Let’s get high
Let’s get fucked up beyond all recognition
It’s how Matt runs a $1.5BB business! Or wait like 1.2 now or something, who cares
It’s got a B-B-B-B-B-B-B B for BILLION!
Justin Timerblake said I’m cool now, right dad?
Not that that helps on a first date when all you know how to do
Is what you’ve been told
What you’ve been programmed
The machine you’ve built against your will is going to have to
You know that thing you don’t wanna do?
Yeah, definitely don’t do that.
Julian, Julien, Jules, and Julez walk into a bar
2023-07-30
FUCK
What?
That hurt?
What?
The bar
How can a bar hurt you?
The booze doesn’t help
Yeah, neither does the smoke
Or the reminders or the phantoms or the memories or the past ex-something carving her way into every corner of the psyche that’s too broken for her or anyone
Just Breath, it’s what Treebeard would do
Gandalf would breath something else
Gandalf’s not real
Neither is she
Neither are we
Walk into a bar
It hurts
Again
We walk out of a bar
It Hurts
More this time
I think I’m good, actually
Yeah, I’m not, but you are, and that’s good
Feeding baby bunnies may make you think you are who you are but you aren’t that person
You’re that other person the one you saw at 10 Forward
The one that wanted so badly for
A slowly creeping vine to find her way back into your short longer life
The Ivy Leagues reminding you that maybe a 3.6 isn’t something to be proud of
Things could have been different
You just have to not take that first breath
And all the rest are easy
It's Nice To Share
2023-07-29
I only carve Rushmores
Out of horse girls lost in the desert
Take my time take my peace
Find my way to stone slabs severed
Happy go lucky LRU caches
Dance acyclically to greedy optima
Know what’s cheap and who knows who
Ground effect shine stall wins Nürburgring
Last time I was here I remember the smell of freshly cut grass, and the soft white noise of flaxen wheat shuffling in the apocalypse
Fire nose plumes
The Nicotine The THC The CBD The Weed The Ganj The Devil’s Lettuce The Burning Plant Matter Scorching
Her perfume, medicinal scotch glass
No cigar can match the wine cheese effluence
Of who I was
When I was good at being good at being good at being who I was when I was who I was when I was good at being good at who I was
Great Men of the past that have nothing to do with me
Feynman Oppenheimer Turing and all the rest
Church and Bohr
Ritchie and Kernighan
Barbie and Ken
Once gave a lecture at my school!
You know, Princeton?
Oh I’ve heard of that one, yeah.
It’s nice to share a desk
Dear Michigan
2023-06-19
You held me for 18 years and I abandoned you
To Schenectady, NY, a city most can’t even spell
Much less point to on a map
Or visit
I was wed in Northampton, MA
Michigan didn’t come to my aide then
I was divorce in South Hadley, MA
Now Michigan wants me back
And I know what I want.
I don’t want the responsibility of end of life care for you
I don’t want the responsibility of your house
I don’t want your life
I don’t want your Michigan
I want my
I want my place
I want my home to be my home and not your home and not her home or their home or anyone’s home but my home until my home can be a home for anyone else but for now
My home is my home.
My home is a building.
It’s made a wood and plaster.
It’s in South Hadley, MA, and it is mine.
I point to it and I say
“I want it all to myself”
Until I am ready to share,
And I am not ready to share yet.
I need to take.
I need to eat.
I need to satiate my hungers
Now
And forever.
Dear dad
2023-06-07
You worked too much and I do resent you for it. Now that I’m on the flip-side I know that you were just trying to be better than your dad, who didn’t work hard, had to rely on Grandma, and was an asshole who gave you specific directions to let you know you’re a fuck up and nothing will ever work out for you.
I didn’t luck out when you took that typing course, I lucked out when Someone came to the new world and left the old one behind. I like this new world, I don’t want to be Czech or a French Canadian fur trapper. I like being a Jocque.
Mom,
You worked too much on all the wrong things. You never took the time or space for yourself because you let your kids consume you.
We don’t want you, and you know it now, and it sucks because I do like you, I just don’t like your parenting. I don’t think we’d be friends outside of the context of a mother daughter relationship.
The Horror of Your Skin
2023-05-30
Haunts these echoy halls
Dear Father
2023-05-26
I missed the hospital again
I’m sorry I missed the hospital again
I was far away
And I don’t think I’m coming to the next one either
I’m sorry I won’t be there when it happens
I wish I could be
But I know you don’t like people
And you are happier for it
You’re welcome
I know you love to serve
But you never get to eat
I used to
2023-05-26
Solve Rubik’s Cubes™ for the attention of the other 8th graders
Now I solve Rubik’s Cubes™ to keep my eyes and hands on something
That’s not them
To be a lover
2023-05-25
Is to be a wife
Is to be a survivor
Is to outlive love or love it outlives you
I write code
2023-05-25
I write code
I talk to the wizard
But 0s and 1s
Don’t exist
Creating your image
2023-05-21
She pounds the clay with a frown
“Not quite what I had in mind”
Slip slap slop flung into the mold and
“Still, not… quite right”
Her taste is exquisite, why cannot her hands form it?
“This must be the wrong grog.”
Starting over, she begins at the top.
“Now, you’re going to be a good little girl, okay?”
The clay behaves itself.
Ron's last shavings
2023-03-07
Ron's last shavings
“Must have been a hell of a vice”
Wish he had left it
Puttering embraced the phoenix rises to greet the sun
Wood but the only saw bent as me
Lo, the ancient and long forgotten workbench sits
Where once sat a hell of a vice
Shavings though, wood shavings
Not normal ones either
Dark, aged, dusty, sooty, sad
Oh my, the vice shavings
Ron’s shavings
Puttering remembered, carHArTt emblazoned, the screen to the door won’t come off
Ahh Ronnie, must have done it a hundred times
That last one is always a doozy
It’s on too tight
Every year
70 years
Of shoes to fill
70 years
Of life to follow
707070707070770707070070700707070700
Is not a real number
Brush burnt turned to cardboard
Bezos at my door, veterans long forgotten
Gigabit elixir apps light my wifi bulbs
“I’m so glad you’re taking pictures of the garden!”
It’s a video
“Ronnie just loved that garden, you know, he had to really reign it in when he hit his 90s. Corn, beans, you name it, Ronnie was giving away the food as fast as he could make it. We’re just the nieces though, that house you know, we had a lot of fun in there crawling around the attic from one bedroom to the next. That place has good karma.”
My first cut goes poorly
Things I Miss From Michigan
2022-09-26
Mackinac Island
Mackinack Island Fudge
Mackinaw Island Horse Shit
Macinaw Island Stone Skipping
Macinac Island Biking Talking To My Dad About Fantasy Football Together - One Of The Only Times Our Focus Aligned
My Mom Telling Me That It Makes Sense They Spend More Money On Hobbies They Think Are Important - As A Kid This Feels Unfair But Teaching A Kid A Hobby Is A Fun Hobby
The View Out My Winder - To Enough Massive Trees I Can’t See Out The Window - They Dwindled And Now You Get Just Clear Blue Sky
Sitting On The Porch With My Parents In The Summer
Taking Pictures Of It
Not The Christmas Scent Candle - Long May It Live
Mackinack Island Lore - Like They Only Have A Few Cars And They Have To Drive Almost All The Supplies For The Year Across The Ice
Lunch At The Grand Hotel
Sam’s Video
2022-09-21
Sam’s Video
Sam’s Video was a video store on Stadium Boulevard in the late 90 to early aughts. On Friday nights, my family would have Pizza and Movie Night. My dad would call up Hello Faz’s Pizza, owned by a guy whose last name was Faz, and passed down to his son, who works there and revamped the place. It’s still kicking. You could go there and order The Bo Schembechler Pizza
$93.35
X-Large
Deep Dish Crust
Well Done
Extra Cheese - Whole Pizza ($2.25)
Feta Cheese - Whole Pizza ($2.25)
Beef Pepperoni - Whole Pizza ($2.25)
Turkey Ham - Whole Pizza ($2.25)
Turkey Sausage - Whole Pizza ($2.25)
Ground Beef - Whole Pizza ($2.25)
Grilled Chicken - Whole Pizza ($2.25)
Seasoned Steak - Whole Pizza ($2.25)
Tuna Fish - Whole Pizza ($2.25)
Sliced Turkey - Whole Pizza ($2.25)
Gyro Meat - Whole Pizza ($2.25)
Turkey Bacon - Whole Pizza ($2.25)
Anchovies - Whole Pizza ($2.25)
Mushrooms - Whole Pizza ($2.25)
Onions - Whole Pizza ($2.25)
Green Peppers - Whole Pizza ($2.25)
Fresh Garlic - Whole Pizza ($2.25)
Pineapple - Whole Pizza ($2.25)
Green Olives - Whole Pizza ($2.25)
Black Olives - Whole Pizza ($2.25)
Banana Peppers - Whole Pizza ($2.25)
Jalapenos - Whole Pizza ($2.25)
Spinach - Whole Pizza ($2.25)
Broccoli - Whole Pizza ($2.25)
Tomatoes - Whole Pizza ($2.25)
Vegan Cheese - Whole Pizza ($2.25)
Cheddar Cheese - Whole Pizza ($2.25)
Pesto Sauce - Whole Pizza ($2.25)
Alfredo Sauce - Whole Pizza ($2.25)
Tandoori Sauce - Whole Pizza ($2.25)
Buffalo Sauce - Whole Pizza ($2.25)
A Cup of Ranch Sauce
A Cup of Tandoori Sauce
A Cup of BBQ Sauce
A Cup of Alfredo Sauce
A Cup of Marinara Sauce
Tip $100 for the trouble
right now.
Hamlet
2022-09-08
*swoon*
"What was that?"
"oh me?"
"yes."
"I'm not sure let me try it again"
*swoon*
"yeah that"
"it's nice."
"but what is it?"
"I'm not sure"
"how does it feel?"
"what?"
"that"
"what?"
*swoon*
"like that"
"oh"
"yeah."
*swoon*
*swoon*
"oh sorry"
"oh no I'm"
"no it's okay just let me"
"here. Let's just"
"okay yeah let's just do that"
"great."
"great."
"okay so now that this"
"yes let's"
"let's"
"I just wanted to say"
"yeah me too"
"do you think we"
"maybe but"
"yeah"
"it's okay don't"
"I'm not it's just"
"I know"
"when will we"
"shhh"
"b"
"shh"
""
""
"I found you"
"we found we"
"I miss"
"me too"
"let's"
"let's."
"help!"
"what?"
"help!"
"how?"
"help!"
"is that good?"
"that's good"
"what happened?"
"with what"
"with all that you know that business"
"I needed help"
"me too"
"we two"
"yeah so I've been thinking"
"that's so nice to hear"
"do you think?"
"I think"
"I think about… you know…"
"yeah me too"
"should we… do it…"
"together?"
"uhh"
"yeah"
"okay"
"wow."
"yeah."
"tell me about that one time"
"sorry, what time?"
"really any, I mean, you know"
"oh yeah no that makes sense"
"man."
"yeah I know"
"are you?"
"I mean, it is what it is."
"yeah."
"yeah."
"so do you wanna?" "yes"
Never again
2022-08-29
One quick slash across the face.
"Never again."
"Never again."
Another.
"Yup."
"Yup."
Another.
"See you in October."
"See ya then."
Artificial Extermination
2022-08-21
Eventually,
the outcome is clear.
CTRL+C
Bites
2022-08-19
I love hearing the roar of the engine on the dawn air.
Getting out into nature makes me feel cleaner and healthier.
"you don't SEEM like you're on the spectrum"
"what was that?"
"oh sorry no I just mean like you're a programmer… with a non assigned gender"
Masc is me in my wedding outfit hair up in a bun or maybe in a hat? Could do my sports outfit too
Or is me in oversized hoodie with a choker short black skirt and thigh highs flashing by for a moment
Femme is me with hair down in my flowery dress with makeup and lip stain no eye liner but mascara on the femme half of my face
Masc or femme?
Then facing the camera wearing all clothes from both outfits
That's a Task for Yemen!
*Yemen national anthem blares as flag of Yemen bursts through the wall behind me as I dive forward onto the ground or a mat maybe*
Video abruptly ends
“Hey did you have any dreams last night?”
“Weeellllllll…. Fading out to being green screened outside with weird AI backgrounds
Start with a normal photo I take and then have the background as a start image to shift into being the final image of me standing in the middle of the image.
“No.”
Buddha burns with knowledge
I just burn